Desert Angel
by TheMacUnleashed
Summary: Nobody ever said that being the first female Jedi would be easy. There was a reason for that. Semi AU. Epilouge is up.
1. Prologue and Entry One

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star wars. I also don't own the title; it's the name of a Stevie Nicks song. **

**Timeline: Roughly nine hundred years pre-ANH.**

**I am rewriting SW history in this story. In this fic, it was a time of galactic peace one hundred years shy of a millennium before the Battle of Yavin. I did this because I didn't want to write a story with all OCs, and this way I can have a young Yoda. **

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**Fifteen year old Jedi apprentice Siri Tachi wandered through the Temple Archives, bored. She was pondering on the recent sparring match she had to Obi-Wan when she suddenly found herself sprawled out on the floor.

Her normally fair cheeks flaming red, she got back to her feet and started apologizing to Master Yoda. "Master Yoda! I'm _so _sorry; I wasn't paying attention—" she broke off as the wizened Jedi let out a dry chuckle.

"Tripped over me, you did!" he chortled as though he still couldn't believe it. "Happened to me, that has not for two hundred years!"

Siri relaxed slightly, realizing that she wouldn't be in trouble.

Perhaps it was too soon, for as soon as she turned away, hoping to avoid an awkward conversation with the elder green Master, he whapped her on the shin with his stick. "Walk away from me so soon, you will not! An apology you still owe me!"

Wincing, Siri bowed. "My most sincere apologies, Master Yoda. As you can tell, my thoughts were elsewhere."

Yoda gave a nod, his thoughts hidden behind a serene mask. "Bored, you should not be. In the Archives, you are! Read something you should."

"Yes, Master." She bowed again, then, on a whim, asked "Have you any suggestion?"

Yoda studied her with brown-gold eyes, as if judging how serious she was. Apparently pleased by what he saw, he thought for a minute, and then said "What know you of the events nearly nine hundred years ago?"

Siri cocked her head, uncertain of what he meant. "No, I mean, I don't _think_ so. Wasn't that one of the peaceful times in the Republic's past?"

The green troll-like creature let out a small laugh. "Peaceful, the Republic never is! But unimportant that is. Never heard of Karata Tempestos, you have?"

"No, I don't believe that I have." Although she couldn't be sure because of the lengthy list of important Jedi that all Padawans had to learn, that name didn't ring a bell.

Yoda shook his head in an odd, almost mournful way. "Bury our mistakes in the past, we cannot. Face ancient discriminations, the Jedi must."

The blonde-haired Padawan frowned slightly. "I'm afraid that I don't understand, Master."

Yoda hobbled over to a small draw that was perfectly level with his arms and covered in a thick layer of dust. Ignoring the grime, he pulled it open to reveal a small series of data-chips. He pulled the first one out and handed it to her. "Fits into a standard datapad, this does. Read it, you shall. When done, you are, come back here, you will. Be here, I am going to." Before Siri could question his instructions- not that she would have!- the diminutive Jedi walked off, stopping only to give her shins an affectionate- at least she _thought_ that it was affectionate; it was hard to tell- whap.

_Later that night_

Unable to push down her curiosity even with regular meditation, Siri retired early that evening. Lying on her stomach on her small sleep-couch, she inserted the chip into her personal datapad.

The Padawan was surprised when rows of text appeared on the screen. Glancing at the top she read, _Tempestos, Karata: Personal journal, chip one._

Intrigued, Siri read on…

**Date: 1/4 **

Before I even introduce myself, I think that it is important to tell how I came to the Order. Of course, I don't know all of the details, only what I've been able to pick up from the teachers. Maybe if I get picked as a Padawan (I'll have to keep this hidden from Yoda; Force knows that he's been berating me enough! Just because he doesn't have to worry about getting a Master like all of us normal Padawans do…) I'll get the full story.

Anyway, my mother is a Senator from the planet Jättää. I've always known that that was my home planet; it's the only one that I've ever heard of whose natives all have ruby-colored eyes. It's a small planet with six moons. Two of those moons are scheduled to collide with it in several hundred years.

Jättää is mainly all desert and mountains. It's a very rough planet; I know that some Masters take their Padawans there on training activities. I wonder if mine will…

The planet was brought into the Republic because of the huge deposits of gold, ore and quartz beneath its surface. I guess that they wanted to get it all before the moons destroy it.

I'm getting way off topic. Anyway, my mother thought that it was unfair that no woman had ever gotten to be a Jedi. I don't know all the details, much as I wish I did, but when she learned that I was Force-Sensitive, she offered to give me up for training, and somehow convinced Master Rhihego and all the other Council Members to take me.

The only other part of the story that I know is that she called me Jättää's "Desert Angel". I don't know too much about angels, but I am aware that they're supposed to bring good fortune to those that they choose. I hope that I can live up to that standard.

Anyway, now to introduce me-

I just realized that it's 20:00! There's another spar tomorrow, and I have to rest up. Maybe I'll get picked as a Padawan!

**End entry one**

Siri looked up at the chronometer on the wall. _20:00, _it read.

She shivered and removed the data-chip.

R


	2. Entries Two Through Six

The next day, Siri opted to not spend her free period with her friends as she so often did, but to instead spend it reading the strange journal written by a Padawan named Karata Tempestos.

Lying down again on her sleep-couch, chronometer in full view, the blonde Padawan picked up the pale yellow data-chip from her nightstand and inserted it into the small datapad device. She quickly scrolled past the first entry to find the place where she had last left off.

**Date: 1/5**

Your light is the only light that I'm typing by, and truth be, it isn't a good light. I'm sorry, but it's just a faint greenish glow.

I'm talking to a datapad. That's probably not good.

Anyway, it's only 3:00, and I should be sleeping. I haven't been, as I mentioned before, chosen as a Padawan, and I'd like to be picked sooner than later. There's still a little bit over six Coruscanti months left until I turn thirteen, and I know that some of the other Padawans are older and deserved to be picked first, but, well, _still_. Perhaps this sounds selfish, but the sooner that I can get out of the rooms that I have to share with five other people that are a different gender than me, the better.

This is embarrassing even just to write about, but, well, lately especially I've been hyper-aware of how awkward being the only female Padawan is. I mean, the only reason that I'm awake at this hour, other than nerves, is because I'm so Force-forsaken crampy from my monthly cycles! Sorry, I guess I'm also moody.

But seriously, I think that I'd go mad if I didn't have Yoda as a friend. It's almost like we're amidst a bunch of Mon Calamari people, but we're two Gungans, those mysterious water creatures that originate from Naboo. I mean, on the surface you could say that we're all non-human amphibious people.

Still, that's only on the surface.

I guess that Yoda is more like a Gungan than I am. Although, technically, his people are even more mysterious than they are. Nobody really knows where they're from, or what exactly they are. By the standards of the Republic, they don't exist. All I –or anyone, besides them- knows is that they –at least the males- have an astonishingly high Midi-Chlorian count. One has been Grand Master of the Order ever since it was first created. An apprentice is only taken about every nine hundred years, as the previous one reaches the end of their lifespan.

Yoda is going to be taken on as Master Rhihego's Padawan when he reaches exactly thirteen years of age. He has about the same amount of time left as I do.

Honestly, I think that he's lucky. _He_ doesn't have to worry about getting a Master, as I think that I mentioned before.

Odd, but I just noticed now that I never described myself. I guess I should, for all the "Future Jedi" out there… Anyway, my name is Karata Tempestos. I guess that I'm of average height. I'm taller than some of the human males here, but shorter than most. Still, it's hard to tell.

I have dark hair: In some lights, it's pure black; in some brown, but for the most part, it's just brown layered with black. Or vice-versa. Again, it's hard to tell. I have bronze skin; it's common from desert planets like mine.

Oh, and my eyes: They're ruby colored, with black flecks. Like I said before, it's a trait of Jättää's people.

I guess the reason that I'm writing in this is, truthfully, for future Jedi. Lots of Masters keep such "journals" or whatever you want to call them. I'm not sure how it originated, but some say that they're for the aftermath of the Great Disaster that will come if the Chosen One never rises.

There's not much more to tell right now. I guess that I'll just try to get to sleep now…

**End Entry two **

**1/5: Later in the day **

I just won my first round of sparring. Yoda is here to watch me. He's keeping you safe while I duel.

I'm just glad that I don't have to go up against Osake anymore. He was the only person that I knew I couldn't beat. He was chosen to be a Padawan for some Master; I'm not sure who, so he's not a problem.

Although, I'm not sure if anyone else knows- Yoda might; he seems to be aware of everything!- there was more to be glad about Osake leaving than just one less rival in spars for me. See he had kind of a crush on me… Well, in bare naked words, he was constantly hitting on me.

That just sounds so wrong that I wish that I could take it back, but I should be honest here, and that is as honest as I can get.

He wasn't bad looking, although that's probably my female hormones talking. He had blond hair, and amber eyes.

Osake was rather popular, unlike Yoda and me. I mean, we both get a lot of respect, but I think that the other initiates- and even maybe some of the Padawans, knights, and Masters- are kind of afraid of us. I've heard that most are suspicious of anything different. One would think that Jedi would be the exception to that rule, but I've come to think otherwise.

Maybe that's why Yoda and I were drawn to be each other's friends.

The next round of spars was announced; I've got to go!

**End Entry three**

**1\5: Nighttime**

I just won all of my duels! I know that I shouldn't be excited –pride is an unbefitting emotion of a Jedi, especially pride taken hurting others, no matter how lightly- but this is the first time that I ever did!

Several Masters had been at the fight, and I'm certain that at least one of them was considering me! I don't recall any of their names, but I don't care if my Master is well known or not. Just as long as he can teach me, I'll be content. Of course, forming a bond would be nice too, but oddly enough, I care more about being taught well than about forming a lifelong friendship.

I know that being an apprentice will be different for me, as compared to the lives of other Padawans. There'll be more… temptation for me; even though I wish desperately that there was a way, I can't control my "feminine feelings." I'll probably get a non-human Master because of this.

**End Entry four **

**1/6: Mid-afternoon**

I think I'm in shock… I might have a Master! Master Athros- I don't know if that's his first or last name, but it really doesn't matter- has asked me to be his Padawan! He's at a session with the Council right now, to see if they approve of the pairing.

I know that there's no chance of me falling in love with him. First of all, he's old enough to be my father, maybe even my grandfather.

Next, he isn't quite human. I'm not sure what he is. Master Athros is really tall, over six feet, and he's got a huge scar that stretches from below his left ear and ends on the right side of his nose. He's got six fingers, and his hands are webbed. He has bronze skin like me, chestnut hair, and midnight blue eyes.

I'm going to go meet him in the Council Chambers now…

**End Entry Five**

**1/6: Nighttime**

I'm going to be a Padawan! More later…

**End Entry six**

**End data-chip one **

Looking up, Siri realized that nearly an hour had past. She cursed silently; she would have to wait until her next free period tomorrow to get the next data-chip.

**A/n: Please review. **


	3. Entries Seven Through Nine

**A/n: Some of the events in this do not follow the canon source. In my defense, I am writing in the past, so it's possible that things changed. Most of the things are small though, but please no flames if you notice them. **

The next day, Siri once again found herself headed to the Archives. In her hand she carried the small data-chip that contained the first six entries of Karata Tempestos's data records; in her mind she held a multitude of questions to ask Master Yoda, if he was there.

As was the Will of the Force, he was. He looked up and tapped his stick as Siri hurried towards him. "Come back, I knew that you would. But expect you so soon, I did not."

She bowed, as was expected when a Padawan addressed one such as Master Yoda. "Yes, Master. Could you tell me more of Kni- Padawan Tempestos? It seems odd to me that I don't recall her name from any of my classes."

The wizened creature shook his head sadly. "All but forgotten, she is. Like to think of the days when we were a discriminative Order, The Jedi do not. Forgotten in all places, but in my mind and these data-chips, she is."

"But what happened to her?"

Yoda harrumphed. "Her own ending, it is! Tell her story, only she can. Read the rest of her data-journal, you shall. Come back here until you have, you will not." He handed her the remaining data-chips and hobbled off.

Siri couldn't prevent a sigh from escaping her lips. It seemed like one could never just get a straight answer with Master Yoda.

_No matter,_ she thought. Traveling to the archives had taken up well less than half of her free break. She would still have time to start, if not to finish, one of the data-disks.

**1/6:** **Unknown time**

It is very late, and I once again write by nothing but your pale light. I can't believe how little writing a single data-chip holds! I don't think that even meditating would have calmed me into Jedi serenity, but typing down my words seems to do what even that cannot.

Master Athros has indeed asked me to be his Padawan, and of course I accepted!

This is the last time that I will be sleeping in the initiate's rooms, and that's only because it's so late that it wouldn't make any sense to disturb everyone while I pack up my things.

I already said goodbye to Yoda. I won't see him much anymore. I've heard that the first year as a Padawan is a blur, and I believe that. Anyway, Master Rhihego would have been coming to take him away to their home planet soon anyway. It's kind of strange; no one really knows just where that planet is, or what goes on during the training.

This might be off-topic, but… I worry about Master Rhihego. He waited very long to take an apprentice, and he's rather old. I know that sounds rude, but, well, it's true.

Anyway, I think that Master Athros will be a good teacher for me. I don't feel as though I'll have a lot of access to his mind, but that's all right with me. I know that he's good with his lightsaber; I'm sure that I'll get lots of work in the field with him. Like I said before, I think that there's about a one-in-a-billion chance that I'll fall in love with him. And there's only a one chance because of my raging hormones. A thousand curses on you, hormones!

Sorry, I tend to turn to humor under stress… I'm just so nervous! Master Athros seems kind enough, but what if he's, well, not?

I don't know if this is normal or not, but I don't sense too much of a bond with him yet. Maybe after he weaves my Padawan braid…

Force, I just realized how late it was! Time passes way too quickly around here.

**1/7: Nighttime**

Wow… That entire day was a blur; I certainly believe that the year will be too!

I moved my things out of my old quarters, and into Master Athros's apartments. I'm so glad that I have my own room here! I get the feeling that my Master believes strongly in privacy. I can't explain it; it's just there.

He pleated my Padawan braid today! It has only a single brown bead that symbolizes my apprenticeship, but as time moves on, I know that I'll get more.

I also cut my hair today. Before, I always just tied it back because it fell well past my shoulders, but now it just barely touches them. I don't mind; it'll be less trouble this way.

In just two days, Master is going to take me to the planet of Ilum, where I'll select a crystal for my saber! I've already constructed my hilt; it's about ten standard inches long, with a hilt that's circumference at the largest point is just a little too big for my grip now, but I'm certain that it will fit into a comfortable grip when I'm older. It has a kind of textured middle portion, and the ending is curved, while the front tapers to a kind of point. I can't wait to select a crystal; it will make everything seem so much more final. Even the Padawan braid isn't as important as the proper lightsaber.

**1/13: The time of gloaming**

I'm not really sure what to say. I guess that I should start with the positive: I now have a lightsaber! The hilt is as I described it above, and the blade is… well, I'll get to that later.

I think that the easiest way to explain is to start at the beginning. Nobody- well, except for the Council members, and perhaps a selected few in the Senate- knows quite where Ilum is. In order to get there, you have to take one of the few of a certain type of Jedi-class ship. They have its coordinates preprogrammed in; it's the only place that the ship can go to. 

All that most Jedi know about this planet's location is that from Coruscant it takes about two days both ways to get there.

Ilum is a dangerous planet. It's got a solely arctic climate there, and so all of the predators there are experts at camouflaging themselves. That's the main reason that I didn't take you; I was afraid that something would happen.

The other reason that I didn't bring you was because of the Caverns. They are the only actual _place_ that radiates the Force that I know of.

For some unknown reason, no electrical devices work within a two-standard mile radius of them, and they're _really_ large.

The only exception is when you have a lightsaber. Nobody is really certain why they, of all things, can be used, but I just accept that it is The Will of the Force.

Anyway, Master Athros and I left on the eighth (Coruscanti date, of course), and arrived the morning of the tenth. It took us a day to get to the Caverns' entrance, because we had to land at least three miles away from them- I've learned that my Master doesn't like to take chances- and the weather on the trek there wasn't that great.

We rested when we first got to our destination, and the next day I set out to build my saber.

The Caverns were, well, weird. I saw… things when I went in there, strange things. I know that it isn't unusual for people to experience visions when they're there to construct their first lightsaber, and also when a Master's Padawan is building their saber (I wonder is M. Athros saw anything when I was there? He mentioned nothing, but many keep visions to themselves.), but, well, still. Everything I saw was hazy, so it probably wasn't anything important.

When I was in the Crystal Chamber itself- that's where the famed Ilum jewels are- I was alone. I knew what to do, although I'm not sure how because I know that we were never taught it in any of our classes. I guess that it was just instinctive…

I think that I was in a sort of trance, because all that I remember is covered in a sort of smoky cloud. I know that I selected several crystals and then reached out with the Force and levitated the one with the presence that felt- correct. That's the only way I can describe it.

At least I _think_ that was real.

You see, after I had bonded the crystal into the hilt, I_ think_ that I remember Master Athros coming in as I stood up. I want to say that I ignited the blade, but I can't be certain.

The blade- I remember the blade so clearly that I feel more certain that it wasn't but a hallucination, as I first thought it to be. It was, in a single word, beautiful.

It was almost the exact shade of a rare Mirialan Rose- no, the color of a Coruscanti sunset. They all seemed to swirl together, the shades- Orange; yellow; and a strange, pale coral: But the most astonishing thing was the very core of the saber. It was a pure, dazzling white, the same color as the snow outside.

I know that I turned to Master, to seek his approval, and that he didn't give it. He was shaking his head, and frowning.

I can't be certain, but I think that he spoke.

Strange: Although I don't even know that it happened, I can recall his words: "You are not different. Remember that, Karata Tempestos. All Jedi Padawans are the same. Your saber is too different. It is too unique. To blend in is the Jedi way. Change the crystal, Karata Tempestos." With that he walked out of the Chamber.

It just doesn't seem like him; it makes no sense, and it isn't the Jedi way. Still, when I woke up from the Trance for the –second? First?- time, I felt something hard lying next to me, and I grabbed it. It was a blush-colored crystal that looked like a thousand sunsets captured in one object.

I quickly hid it, why, I'm still not sure; and stood up to see Master Athros standing behind me. He beckoned for me to ignite my saber, and I obeyed.

The blade was blue.

**A/n: Kindly review! **


	4. Entries Ten Through Fifteen

**1/14: Twilight, again.**

Good force, I'm sore! Master and I just had our first spar with real lightsabers. Of course, I have dueled with other Padawans many times before, and I know most of the standard katas, but it's just _so_ different when you're using a weapon built by your own hands. Everything feels… right. That's all that I can call it, right.

Yet at the same time, something feels strange, and it's not the fact that I hold in my hands a device that can kill someone if I'm not careful. It's like the rightness of having a real saber is tainted by the fact that it isn't really mine, which doesn't make any sense. I mean, I made it myself!

Maybe it's the crystal. Am I really meant to have a blue blade? I still have the sunset-like one. I managed to drill (don't ask) a hole into the top of it, and I now wear it around my neck. I don't believe in luck, but for some reason, it makes me feel safer to have it with me.

I keep it hidden, just to avoid questions. I mean, I get enough attention already! I figure it's better to be safe than sorry. I don't _think_ that there's any sort of rule against taking a crystal, but at the same time, they are sacred to the Jedi. I don't want to risk getting in trouble.

Nobody will bother asking about the necklace I wear. Many of the men also have symbols of accomplishment on them. Honestly, I feel as though this violates the fact that we're not supposed to have any emotions, but I'm not going to complain if it benefits me. That's probably a very un-padawan-like thing to say, but, well, I'm still young. I doubt that anyone expects me to be the perfect Jedi yet.

Sorry, I got kind of off track. Anyway, Master and I sparred for the first time, and it wasn't easy. He won, of course.

I think that I'll be majoring in Form IV. Just in case things like that have changed in the future, that's Ataru. It's best for offensive attacks against one opponent.

Master Athros practices that form. That's how I know I will, too: It's traditional for Padawans to follow in their main teacher's footsteps regarding lightsaber forms, or at least they learn it while under their Master's tutelage.

If I'm being honest with myself, I'd rather learn Form V, Shien. Form IV is more for lightsaber combat, but I'd rather be a negotiator. That would probably mean that learning to deflect blast bolts would be more effective than focusing on a method made to fight against a lightsaber-armed opponent. Come to think of it, I wonder why anyone does that form anymore. I mean, there hasn't been a Sith for over a hundred years, and besides them, the Jedi are the only ones who can operate a lightsaber, by Republican Law.

Oh, well. Again, I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. And at least this will give me something to talk about with Yoda, when he gets back. He left with Master Rhihego while I was gone. He's going to his home planet (wherever that is!) to start his training.

I wish that I had gotten to bid him farewell. I'll miss him, even though I know you aren't supposed to form attachments. Still, I'd better live in the present. My official Padawan classes start tomorrow.

It isn't like I'm looking forward to being in a room full of hormonal boys, but I'm getting used to it.

**1/21: Midmorning**

I don't have classes today; some species of Jedi have cultures that consider this day sacred. It's strange if you think about it; I mean, we don't know our families, and yet we still know our culture, even though we've dedicated our lives to serving the Force.

I myself have never felt that this day is particularly special, but nevertheless, I'm grateful that I have the chance to write. The week has been busier than I could have imagined.

I started most of my classes, and as I suspected, I got a lot of attention from the other students. I don't really mind; although it isn't desirable, you get used to it. At least my teachers treat me like everyone else. That's the way it's always been.

I miss Yoda more than I imagined I would. He was really my only friend; the only one who understood why I felt like an outsider. I guess that I'd feel better if I could contact him, but, of course, that is entirely out of the question.

The entire Temple has seemed a bit tense lately. With Grand Master Rhihego gone, a lot of Jedi believe that we're vulnerable to attack. I can sympathize with this, but attack from what? No major Republican planet is having a war that would affect Coruscant, and, as I've said before, the Sith are long gone.

Master Athros has been pushing Form IV on me more –I don't know if this is the right word- but, well, aggressively. Our lessons seem to move as fast as the stars in hyperspace! I can't say accurately because I don't talk much to the other Padawans, but they seem to be going much quicker than those of other apprentices.

I also have been meditating a lot. It isn't easy, but the Force always seems fairly welcoming to me. That's what I usually do when I feel lonely.

Anyway, that's about all that there is to report. Later…

**4/22: Nighttime**

Yes, it's been a while since I last wrote in you. There really wasn't anything to tell about. I spent most of my time meditating. Still haven't really met anyone friendly.

That isn't to say that life has been slow! Although there really wasn't anything unusual that happened, it seems that time has just jumped from the first month to the fourth. Mostly my classes have kept me busy. I'm on top of all the work, but just barely.

Sparring has taken up most of my time. I've had a few sessions with the Saber Master. My footwork hasn't been the best lately. Supposedly, it's because of the annoying growth spurt I'm experiencing (Seriously, I can practically _feel_ my cells multiplying!) but I think that a more likely reason is the way that Master Athros seems to be teaching me something completely new every day. Sometimes we build on things that we've done before, but that isn't what we usually do.

I guess he knows best, though. We really haven't formed a close bond yet; it's a bit disturbing. I didn't expect us to have one that was too strong: Often, you can feel such bonds between other Masters and their Padawans, and if anyone felt such a thing from us, the rumors would fly faster than a specially-modified, illegal Corellian ship.

Master's calling me- He doesn't usually. I better go see what he wants.

**4/23: In hyperspace**

I'm going on my first mission! I'm surprised: I'm not quite thirteen yet, and my saber skills haven't been their best lately. Still, the Council knows best, so I guess that I must trust their decision.

This is the kind of mission that Master is best at: A hostage rescue. I guess this is where Form IV comes in handy.

We're going to the planet Jauaha. There, the native Humans are fighting a civil war. One side kidnapped two Jedi- A Master and a Padawan- who were overseeing "negotiations", in hopes that the tide would turn their way if they had a bargaining chip.

I've heard of Master's legendary skill. Rumors say that he's never failed a mission. I hope that my presence won't change that.

It's odd. I'd prefer to work in the more peaceful field of negotiation- just as an overseer, and being able to use my logic to help work out treaties and such- but as I said before, my teacher is an "aggressive negotiator. It's like lightsaber forms; we're complete opposites. It's a bit unsettling.

Anyway, I'm just leaving you here on the ship. It would be too dangerous to bring you with me onto Jauaha. Besides, Master might notice you then. Not that that would be a bad thing; it just might be a little awkward. I actually haven't told him of you. I've hardly told him anything, to that matter.

I don't know the Jedi that we're rescuing. The knight is Ustar Ratari, and the Padawan is Kaveri Ava. I think he's a few months older than me. Again, I don't recall either of them.

Traveling via hyperspace, it only takes a day to get to Jauaha, and we're almost there. I'll write after the mission!

**4/27: Back in hyperspace**

Well, my first mission is officially over, and I'm most certainly thinking that I'll prefer peaceful negotiations.

We arrived on the planet on the twenty-third, Coruscanti date. It was composed of a mostly rainforest-like environment, and would have been beautiful, except for the huge gashes that cut across the ground. The two main groups of human have been fighting over rights to mine the native _tihonväri ruutuhe_; translated to Basic, that roughly means "colored diamonds". They get exported out all over the galaxy, and are very expensive to buy.

Anyway, after landing, Master and I immediately donned shawls and the tight pants and shirts worn by commoners on this planet. Most hostage situations such as this are done without any help from citizens on the planet. I guess that it's safer to go undercover. Through an anonymous contact, we had learned where the prisoners were, so we didn't waste time searching for them. It was about two day's journey to it. The ship had to be landed fairly far away so that our presence wouldn't be revealed.

The prison had very high security, and this is where the story gets a bit… disturbing.

We were as discreet as possible, but one of the guards still spotted us. The thing is, Master didn't seem to hold very much regard for the lives of the security personnel. He just killed them straight out. I was able to only knock them unconscious and he didn't seem to notice, but it felt so weird to feel their lives disappear through the Force.

The rest of the mission is kind of a blur. I know that my lightsaber form wasn't the greatest there. Ataru still feels awkward to me, although I suppose that it was useful against some of the guards, who used an elongated form of vibro-blades. They were a little like lightsabers, but more akin to the old metal swords still used on some planets.

The rescue itself was fairly simple. Neither of the two Jedi had been physically tortured, although they were slightly dehydrated. We were able to get them out of imprisonment within an hour. I think that most of the time was spent just traveling between the ship and prison.

I got to know Kaveri pretty well. He's a Zabrak and-

**End data-chip two  
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**A/n: Sorry for the break in updates! Please review! **


	5. Entries Sixteen Through Twentytwo

**4/28: Nighttime **

Whoever is reading this in the future, if anyone, I hope that data-chips contain more memory than they do now! The ones that I'm saving these entries on now are the largest that I could find, and they still seem to run out too soon.

Sigh. I guess that's unimportant.

Anyway, Kaveri is, as I said, a Zabrak. Just for future reference, they're a humanoid species that, summing it up really quick, have short vestigial horns along the crowns of their heads and can't grow facial hair. There skin comes in a variety of pigments.

Kaveri's is silver-ish and his horns are short. He is about my age, perhaps a little older. I don't recall seeing him as an initiate, but that doesn't mean anything. There was a large number of us in my age group, and although we grouped together often, it would be next to impossible to know everyone. As it happens, he was chosen fairly early to be a Padawan.

He's really nice. He actually noticed me as a Jedi _first_ and a _girl_ second. I can't say that for anyone else, not even Yoda.

I learned a little more about the mission on which he and Knight Ratari were captured. The group of people who had though it wise to do so had had a Force-sensitive with them that had learned to control his power to an extent. He was able to slip some sort of drug into their drinks, which knocked them unconscious long enough to tie the two up and imprison them. The person who put the substance in them is believed to be one of the people that Master Athros killed.

Although this is slightly off-topic, I'm still disturbed that he did that. No matter who they worked for, the guards didn't deserve to be slaughtered like animals.

That is the past. I must focus on the present…

I'm glad that Kaveri will be staying at the Temple for a little while, so that the healers can make sure that the drug they gave him and Knight Ratari doesn't have any side effects. I will be, too: Padawans don't go out on very many missions before they turn fourteen or so; that way we can focus on our classes. This was his {Kaveri's} first mission, although he's been Knight Ratari's apprentice for a little over a standard year. I guess that I just went early because Master Athros is known well for being a particularly skilled duelist.

(I don't know if I like this or not.)

**4/30: Twilight**

The situation on Jauaha has been settled! After Master Athros, Kaveri and his Master, and I departed from the planet, a different Jedi team was sent, one that consisted of a negotiator. I'm not sure who. Anyhow, they were able to settle the dispute peacefully.

Again, that seems all the more Jedi-ish to me. Simple negotiations, no loss of lives, sabers only carried in case of emergencies.

I hope that I'll be able to study under one of the Consular Jedi. They're more the scholar type, the sort that I want to be.

It isn't unheard of for a Padawan to study under a different Knight's tutelage for a few {standard} months, if they want to major in a specific art, such as healing, or, I suppose, mediation.

I don't know if I will be able to do this for certain. As I said, it's been done before, but it isn't quite the "norm" if you understand what I mean. I would have to find someone willing to train me, and I'd need Master Athros's approval. I think that getting it would be the hardest part.

It isn't that we don't work well together. He can be critical, and he's hard to approach, but so far he's taught me well in the area of dueling, even if I would prefer a different form. He instructed me on the topic of "aggressive negotiations", and it's clear that he knows what he's doing.

The main reason I'd be worried about discussing this with Master is that I'm afraid he would get… the way he did on Ilum.

That day in the Caverns, the Force felt… different. I mean, I know it was partially because of my location, but there was more. It felt as though all the energy there was revolving around Master, cloaking him, hiding his mind. That sounds strange, but it's the only way I can describe it.

Anyway, ever since then, I've felt a bit… reserved whenever I'm around him. Not exactly afraid, but not completely trusting around him.

We still don't have a properly formed bond.

**5/30: Nighttime**

Yes, it's been a month since I wrote. Because of how little these data-chips hold and how expensive they are, I've found it necessary to only write when there's something to write _about_.

I've been meditating lately. It hasn't been going too great. When I was an Initiate, it always came fairly easy, but now that my mind shares some sort of link- no matter how weak it may be- with someone else, there seems to be so many more distractions. The strangest thing is, it's like the Force is whispering at me to see something, some subtle clue that I keep missing. I think that's why I'm writing in you now; it has a sort of calming effect. The outside world kind of blurs together, and all that there is is my fingers typing on these keys and the words on this screen.

Odd.

Anyway, I've been spending much more time with Kaveri. Being with him also helps me to meditate.

My first impression of him was correct, he is really nice. He's rather like me, in a way: We're both quiet, dedicated to our studies- we are both in advanced classes, and we both tend to shy away from other people.

I do it just because, well, do I really need to give an explanation? I'm too different.

Force, that came out wrong, and I think that I broke your backspace button. It's not that I'm better than anyone else, but it's so awkward to know that people are watching you every time you do something as simple as walk down a hallway. The nice thing about being in the Temple is how subtle the others are about it, but I still know. It can be rather unsettling.

I can't be certain, but I think Kaveri has a rather high Midi-Chlorian concentration. Like with Master, it's just in the he feels when I'm standing near him.

Unlike Master, he has a much more peaceful feeling to him. His "aura", although I'm not certain if that's really the right word, is almost crystalline. It's like you can see everything, but in a distorted sort of way. Still, you know that it's completely pure and good; foolish as that sounds, it is true.

Kaveri is able to sense peoples' emotions; that may be why he tends to be a loner.

I'm not too sure of the extent of this. I know he can tell what mood someone is in. He's done that to me a lot the past few months. I don't think that it's like he is a mind-reader or anything. I mean, such a Jedi (or Padawan, as the case may be) would probably go crazy inside such a populated building as the Temple.

It makes me think about what goes on inside his head.

**6/15: Gloaming**

Yesterday was my thirteenth birthday. It was mostly normal: Celebrations are rare among the Jedi.

Still, because it was, in a certain way, my coming-of-age birthday, Master Athros and my close friends, which is really only Kaveri, did notice it. I mean, Yoda is too, but I haven't heard from him since Master Rhihego took him off to wherever it is that they go to train.

I haven't heard from him at all, by the way. I guess that the Council is afraid that any messages sent can be traced to his secret training base.

Still, today was good. Normal for the most part, although yes, Kaveri did remember it.

Jedi have few worldly possessions of course, as absolutely _no_ type of attachment is encouraged, so he didn't give me anything. I don't mind, you're really the only item, except for my lightsaber and clothes, that I really need.

(Yes, I do feel as if I need you, or _something_ to write in.)

Master also acknowledged today, although in a somewhat different way. It is traditional for Masters to give their apprentices something, just to sort of prove the bond that they share, on the Padawan's thirteenth birthday.

We didn't really celebrate it; that would involve emotions, and while I know –I _think_- this is a good thing, Master doesn't show his feelings.

What he gave me is- strange, beautiful and chilling at the same time. It's a sort of dagger: The blade appears to be a form of durasteel, and the hilt is- well, I'm not quite sure _what_ it's made of, but it is white, and set with a single piece of Hijarna stone- a mineral so powerful that it can absorb certain types of laser.

I've no idea where he got it, but I love it! It feels so _right_ in my hands, like the crystal that I still where around my neck.

Master says that he'll teach me to fight with it- I didn't know that he knew how. I was aware that some Jedi are skilled in fighting using methods other than lightsabers- some also fight with staffs, or even blasters- but I'd only ever seen M. Athros use the orthodox method. I'm glad that he'll teach me, though. I really wan to make use of this. Wait, that came out kind of wrong…

Ah, well.

**6/25: Evening**

I had my first lesson with the dagger today! This seems to come to me so much more naturally than with a lightsaber, oddly enough. Maybe it's because there's less forms of knife-fighting than lightsaber dueling.

Anyway, Master just went over some of the basics today. He has a weapon similar to mine: Just from observation, I can tell that the hilt and blade are of the same make.

The stones that go just below where the blade and grip meet are different, though. His is a sort of red crystal, while my Hijarna Stone is, of course, black.

I don't know if Kaveri is too approving of me learning to fight like this. I mean, we're equals, and he is way too polite to say anything, but he did mention once that the knife I have has a certain feel to it. I wish that he had been more specific, but for some reason, he didn't seem to want to speak further of it.

**9/30: Roughly 21:00, Coruscanti Standard Time**

You know how I said before that I was certain that time would pass quickly? Well, I wasn't kidding.

Master and I just went on our second mission. It was just a basic hostage, mostly the same thing as before. Of course, the people were different; the planet was too, and of course, the motives weren't the same, but still.

I guess that the only really exciting thing was that I got to try out my dagger against a real enemy for the first time! I had to fight one of the prison guards in close quarters, where a lightsaber would have been deadly. The planet that we were one was rather primitive, and the humanoids that lived there preferred not to use blasters.

We were rescuing a politician, who had been held hostage for- actually, I'm not sure why. He was rather whiny. I'm sorry, but one would at least expect a 'thank you' for saving someone's life!

Force! I just reread that, and I realize what a complete bantha-head I sound like. I'm sorry; I know not to want excitement, and that a Jedi wants nothing from their work except to help others.

It's the hormones, I guess.

**11/3: Coming back from the planet Plasus**

I would have written before we left, but there was so much reading to do! Not that I minded, of course; I enjoyed it.

I'm coming back from my first negotiation mission! I suppose that I should start from the beginning:

The Council contacted Master mid-afternoon on 10/24. He was told that we were to negotiate a treaty between the Plasusian Environmental Committee and the capital city, Moenia's, Development Bureau.

The situation was a bit predictable: The DB wanted to build a library over protected wetlands, while, of course, the PEC wanted to protect them.

Plasus is an under-developed planet. While the weapons are up-to-date, as the spacecrafts are, it was colonized only about one hundred years ago. Humans are, as far as known, the only sentient inhabitants. They were sent there as part of an exploration policy in the inner part of the Outer Rim from the Republic.

It's mostly made up of fertile soils and extremely hilly land. However, the DB wanted to build the library over the wetlands because –and here I quote the Bureau's Head, Dr. Neive Hunterfli: "This area of the planet experiences about two standard months of drought-like weather. Due to this, much more farm land is needed to produce the number of crops grown in other areas that do not battle such severe dryness. A library is needed to help aid the education of Plasus's most precious citizens, its children, as well for the use of its elder residents. The wetlands, having no purpose aiding the growth of the people here, would be a reasonable place to build such."

That _does_ make sense, but the wetlands do serve a purpose, according to Sir G. Saculs: "The wetlands… are for the future of this planet! Many plant specimens are still being discovered there, as the first century that humans were here was spent more colonizing and building than actually _learning_! If we destroy them now, we, as loyal members of the Republic, could miss out on serious medical advances!"

There was, of course, much more argument then this, but it seems to me like these two quotes really set off the debate.

I was just an observer, of course. When I'm older, in my twenties or so, I'll be able to participate in things as important as these. Hostage missions are different, of course; they're much more of a physical challenge, as compared to the mind-consuming mental puzzles that these are.

In the end, Master ruled that a library half the size originally planned could be built. Otherwise, the DB could change the location.

Although he never said it, I don't think he {Master} enjoyed this mission. It seemed to me that he was somehow annoyed throughout the debates that took place. It was almost as if he thought himself above all the people there.

Strange.


	6. Entries TwentyThree Through Forty

**1/4: Nighttime **

I just realized that today is the one-year anniversary of when I started this journal. Strange: I thought that I would write daily, chronicling every minute of my Padawan years. It's fascinating to look back and see how naive you were in a space of time that is so short in the Realms of the Force.

Wow. I just reread that sentence, and… wow. That was rather deep. I didn't even realize that I thought like that.

I guess that's the thing with Jedi training. As you learn, your thoughts slowly get shaped into something much more precise than what you started with. At the same time, every single one of us, Knights, Masters, Padawans, and Initiates, are different.

Are we really? If our thoughts are molded into such uttermost dedication to serve the Republic, than are we all the same inside?

No! I've not a clue where any of that came from. I _do _believe that I'm doing what's right; I don't really doubt that. I guess that I've just been feeling cooped up: Months have passed since I've been off planet, and actually, it's been a few weeks since I've gone out of the Temple. I suppose that that's common among Padawans; a lot of my teachers nowadays say that we're in the 'rebellious years'. Odd, as we all seem relatively young.

**2/1: Early morning- Can't sleep**

It was only as I lay awake, bored out of my mind, that I realized that the times that I write in you are getting further and further apart. Perhaps I should update you on my life:

_Kaveri_: He's my closest friend. There are a few others that I talk to, but we mostly only discuss things directly related to our classes. I haven't heard anything from Yoda since he left. I knew from the time when we were younglings that I wouldn't have any contact while he was trained, but it still kind of hurts.

_Master: _We still don't have a real bond. I don't think that we ever will. I guess that I'm okay with that: When I got picked as a Padawan (Which I just realized was a little more than a year ago!), I wanted a teacher over a father figure in my life. And I've been taught well: My lightsaber skills have doubled in the short time that I've been an apprentice. I think that the extra classes I took with the Saber Master really paid off. I also love dueling with my dagger! It's amazing how preferable it is to me over lightsaber sparring, no matter how much progress I've made.

_Missions: _I still haven't been on any since my last entry.

**4/16: During my free-period**

And time passes on…

I guess that the nice thing about having little to write about is that I'm not constantly changing data-chips.

**6/15: My fourteenth birthday**

Not much has happened lately. I'm mostly writing because today is my birthday.

I've been on one mission since the last entry. It was another rescue. Is it bad when I've been on but three and I dislike them already?

I know that I should be more open-minded. Still, it isn't easy. I suppose that I should meditate more. I'm down to about half a standard hour each day. When I was an Initiate, It was a bad day if I didn't get at least one whole {standard} hour in! I know that I'm a lot busier these days, but still. If I really want to, I could probably make time in my schedule. Maybe.

**8/1: Evening**

Sithspit! Why does _he_ have to come back? I mean, in the back of my mind I was aware that it was inevitable, but _still_. Life was perfectly fine, and now _he's_ back. A thousand curses!

Sorry. I just had to get that out: I know that Jedi have no emotions, but sometimes it's hard to believe that.

Anyway, I'm talking about Osake. _Padawan _Osake Haslym. I believe that I mentioned him once before. He was the only Initiate that was a challenge on a regular basis for me to beat at lightsaber dueling. He's a few months older than me, which is why he was picked by a Master earlier than I was. Why any Master would want such a sorry… Never mind.

I know that this seems strong, but it isn't like I just pick some random Padawan to dislike. When we were both younglings -again, I think that I've said this before- he, well, liked me. A lot. And putting it mildly, I didn't exactly return his affections. I mean, I did my best not to be rude, but he was persistent.

There was never any physical contact, of course. I would have reported it someone –Yoda, if not one of the Masters or Knights- if there had been.

Still, having a stalker is punishment in itself.

Osake was on a long mission with his Master, who I learned is Master Sokea. I don't know very much about either him or the mission, and while this may seem rude, I don't particularly care. My main goal is to distance myself from him for as long as possible.

I know that that isn't going to work for very long. I already spotted him today, and (unfortunately) I think that he saw me. I was hoping that he would change with time, but something tells me that it'll take much longer than a year for him to not see me as he does now.

**8/5: Nighttime**

Sometimes, I wish that I was wrong when pondering about things.

At least I have Kaveri as a friend. He's essential in hiding me from Osake. Even he knows how rude it would look (Or how it would break down his image) if he just suddenly interrupted two people that were "deep in conversation".

**8/20: Twilight**

Sheesh! You send a Master/Padawan team on a mission for- actually, I'm not quite sure how long, but at least a few standard months- and then you just have to wait to send them off again. (Yes, I know that makes zero sense, but oh well.)

**9/3: Afternoon**

Finally, sweet relief! Master and are being sent on a mission. It's another hostage, but I really don't mind.

**12/14: Nighttime**

Well, I just learned never to even _think_ that a mission is going to be simple.

(I suppose that it could be worse. The torture methods used against Master and I weren't exactly creative, so I could release the pain into the Force.)

**12/16: Nighttime**

I was just released from the Healer's Ward, and I learned that Kaveri is away on a mission and that Osake is still here. How wonderful…

I suppose that I should tell of the mission, which was to the planet Ryloth. Master and I were to rescue Sala Vartija, a Republican spy. He had been on Ryloth to

monitor the ryll exports. Someone there somehow found out that he was an undercover worker, dedicated to stopping the spice from being distributed to the rest of

the galaxy, and so he was imprisoned by one of the larger gangs there.

Of course, naïve fool that I was, I assumed that this would just be another rescue-and-run type assignment.

Ryloth is, of course, home to the fierce Twi'lek species. They're known not only for their beauty, but for their determination to win any sort of fight. I guess that I should have paid more attention in my Galactic Species Course, as learning this the hard way wasn't exactly desirable.

Actually, although we were away for several months, most of the time wasn't spent imprisoned ourselves. I think that a larger portion was spent on the run.

**12/ 20: Gloaming**

Will Kaveri never get back?!

**1/1: Morning**

A new year on Coruscant!

I haven't heard from Yoda for quite awhile; I don't officially know how his training is going, and I never expected to. However, rumors have started to fly. They say the Master Rhihego is too old, that he can't properly train the next High Council Leader.

I wonder if they're true.

**1/10: Nighttime**

Some people never mature with time. How Osake ever became a Padawan is beyond me. I swear, the way he acts you'd think that he had more hormones than all of the other apprentices combined!

Kaveri still isn't back.

**1/17: Twilight**

I wish that I could at least know where Kaveri was.

**1/24: Nighttime**

Something is certainly wrong; I wish that I could at least know what! The Force offers me no answers. It seems that dagger-practice is my only release. I've gotten better at that; I almost defeated Master today.

**1/30: Around midnight**

I woke up just a few {standard} minutes ago. The sunset-colored crystal that I took from the Ilume caverns was burning my skin. (Yes, I do even wear it while I sleep. It almost seems to help me connect with the Force, and this way, I don't have to fumble around in the darkness for it if Master and I are called out to a mission sometime in the night.)

I just know that something is wrong.

**2/14: Noon, I guess**

If I had spoken up to the Council when I thought that something was wrong, I could have prevented this. Why didn't I? It's all my fault… Oh Force, I think that I'm going crazy…

**End Data-Chip Three**

**A/n: Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated… **


	7. Entries FortyOne Through FortyNine

**2/ 16: Nighttime**

The funeral was today.

Kaveri's funeral.

He's the first one of my age-mates to die. It doesn't seem fair: He was the kindest one of us; he didn't have a temper; he always reached out to others even if he wasn't exactly popular… Oh, Force, I'm writing down a eulogy.

For the sake of the future Jedi, I offer this: _Never form attachments_. It doesn't matter what kind they are: Friendship, Master/Padawans, even lovers. In the end, you're just going to get hurt.

………

For the sake of facing this head-on, I'm going to write down what happened.

Kaveri and Knight Ratari had been sent to the planet Tumio to help aid the native humanoids. There had been a natural disaster just days before; a volcano erupting, I believe.

(Why the Council would be so foolish as to send someone who con feel others' emotions at a magnified rate to a disaster zone, I will never know. I swear, if I ever get a seat there, I'll make sure that such a thing never happens…)

I'm sorry. My closest friend just died… I'd be a fool _not_ to want to blame someone… Right?

When they got to the planet, Kaveri was overwhelmed with the suffering that he felt, or at least that's what Knight Ratari said. Still, he continued helping out for as long as he could.

At the same time, there was an uprising of a group that had kept to the 'old ways', which apparently involved slavery and self-sacrifice. It was outlawed about fifty years ago, when Tumio joined the Republic.

I guess that some element of that worked. They were the only ones who were able to take cover before the volcano erupted.

Anyway, they weren't very happy when the majority of their planet chose to bury their beliefs into a dark past. That's why they didn't warn anybody about the coming calamity; it was their way of saying that the gods were angry.

After it happened, apparently the hundreds dead weren't good enough. _They_ wanted Tumio to get out of the Republic. So what do they do? Kidnap an already-tormented Padawan and hold him hostage, complete with torture, until his Master agrees to negotiate, which any Jedi with half a brain can tell you wouldn't take very long. Then, when the Master reveals to you that he's unable to get your planet out of the Republic, destroy the apprentice even further, and leave him for dead. In the middle of an isolated forest, where wild creatures and Force-knows-what-else roam.

(He was dying when his Master found him.)

I wish that I was at least able to say goodbye to him before he- you know.

**2/18: Nighttime**

The worst part is that I can't even seem to cry. Dagger fighting seems to be my only release now: It's a second nature to me; the only one besides writing and meditating.

(I can't meditate. I'm too afraid of the answers that I might find; more; I'm afraid of just what my questions are.)

**2/21: Gloaming**

I haven't been able to approach Knight Ratari. It's just too soon afterwards. I hope he understands that.

At least Osake and his crew leave me alone now.

**8/15: Twilight**

And time passes on.

With that time, most of the emotional pain has flared down. I'm able to meditate now, and what the Force shows me is not disturbing. I don't know exactly _what_ I'm seeing, but it's… satisfying. That's an odd word for a Jedi (Padawan or not) to use, but it's the best one that I can think of.

I've also been talking to Knight Ratari. I've never spoken to him directly about what happened, and I doubt that I ever will, but he's a good listener. Being near him helps me meditate; he has a strong Force-connection. It's odd, but in a few months, we have a stronger connection than I do with Master.

Oh, and I'm fifteen now.

**9/1: Three years from my last entry- Where has Time** **gone?!**

Wow… I can't believe it! Just two days after my last entry, Master and I got called away to a mission, and it's been one after another ever since then. The most that we've had in between any two missions has been a few days, and I had to spend those getting caught up in my classes as much as I could. Now, though, the Council has requested that we take a little down time. They said that it was so I could have some more experience in the Temple.

I guess I should update you on my life:

**Missions**: I've stopped keeping track. Strange, I thought that I'd have been knighted by the time I did that! We {Master and I} have been on mostly hostage missions lately, but there were a few negotiations mixed in, thankfully. On the latest one, I was actually a part of forming the treaty, and not just an observer. That was rather exciting: The planet we were on, Neito, was a pro-feminist place, so I got a lot of respect there.

(I don't think that Master is too happy about my actions there, though. Technically, I was still a minor when I spoke out, and I was only supposed to be observing.)

**Master**: We're never going to have a real bond; I'm not fool enough to think that.

He's taught me well, though: I was surprised to learn that I was only a little behind in my classes when I went to them today. Still, we seem to have been having more conflicts than usual: It's mostly just small, unimportant things, but I feel like I'm constantly walking on thin ice around him. I guess it's expected as I grow older, but still. It can be rather disturbing, as we've never exactly been close.

Is it wrong to be suspicious of him? Sometimes he comes back to the apartment really late, and he's been a lot stricter lately. At least, it seems that way. I know he's my main teacher, and he should be critical of my performance, but still.

**Friends: **I'm not really close to anyone anymore. I've been away so long that it's hard to get to know anyone. The nice thing is that I'm not alone in being gone for a long period of time: The classes that I'm in right now have only seven students at the most.

I talked to a few other Padawans today, and was surprised to learn that I hadn't been away as long as some of them had: We were comparing data, and the most that one of us had gone without spending seven consecutive days in the Temple was _five_ years. Surprisingly, I came in third out of a group of twelve. It's reassuring, in a strange sort of way, to know that others have to work harder than you.

(We all agreed that being a Jedi Padawan was the hardest career in the galaxy, and we don't even get paid! Not that that matters too much to a Jedi.)

Osake is here, but somewhere along the line we reached an unspoken truce: We aren't friends, but we can tolerate each other's presence. We've had a few decent conversations; he's actually quite observational.

I was astonished to know that one of our age group has been knighted! Himia Rupe is the first one of us to achieve the rank of Jedi Knight, and at age eighteen! I guess that out of all of us, he _was_ the most likely to be first; he studied a lot in his spare time, and he was also one of the earliest Padawans to be picked.

Still, that's _really_ soon to be knighted. Most of us will probably be in our twenties {Galactic Standard Ageing System} by the time that happens to us.

Weird… I just read over that, and I realized that I spoke as 'us'. I'm no longer like a Gungan amongst a Mon Calamari group anymore!

**The future:** I shouldn't look ahead; Master has told me before that if I learn only one thing in my years under his tutelage, that it's how dangerous attempting to be clairvoyant is. Still, I really can't help it: The human within me wants to plan, and I figure that preventing that could distract me at the most inappropriate moment.

Remember before, when I mentioned that I'd like to focus on Shien as a saber form, and how I'd like to be more the negotiator than rescuer? Well, I also said that it wasn't unheard of to study under a different Master.

I'd like to work under Master (Yes; he has the rank of Master now!) Ratari for a little while. By the Will of the Force, he's also going to be here for a few {standard} months.

I met him today in the halls, and he looks like he's doing well, since… you know. He hasn't taken on another apprentice, so if I asked him to help tutor me, I know that he would have enough time on his hands. Kaveri told me once that they had gone on a variety of missions, but that Knight –Master now, of course**-** Ratari seemed very pro-negotiations. I also know for sure that he studies Form V. I've actually sparred with him a few times, and I know that he's one of the most adept at it. We're good friends, of course, and I'm sure that he'd let me study under him for a little while. The only demon that I'm struggling with is how to ask Master. I don't want to seem ungrateful of his teaching, and I'm afraid of making him mad. Like I said before, he's seemed rather stressed lately.

I guess I'll wait a few days. That way, I'll be all settled in.

**9/8: Gloaming**

I'm still nervous –Master's mood hasn't exactly improved- but the Force seems to tell me what to do. I guess that I'll bring it up today…

**9/9: Very early, or very late- Perspective rules everything, doesn't it?**

That was… strange… I'm not too sure how to say this… I suppose that a direct narrative would be best.

I approached Master late yesterday, a little after I had gone down to the cafeteria to eat. He looked surprised when I started to speak, as we hardly ever talk outside of spars and mission briefings. I remember our conversation exactly:

(I walk up to Master; he's reading something. He quickly shuffles the pieces of durasheet that he held as I come closer.)

Master: "Yes, Padawan?"

Me: "Master… There's something I'd like to ask you."

(Master nods his head for me to continue.)  
Me: "Would it be okay if I studied under a different teacher for a little while?" (I said this really quickly. I shouldn't have, as it betrayed emotion, but I couldn't help it.)

(He frowns and looks at me fully; one of the few times that he's done so.) Master: "Have I failed you in your training somehow?" (These words seem harmless in text, but I can't replicate the tone that he spoke in. The calm before the storm; that's the closest that I can come.)

(At this point, I got down on my knees and bowed my head. That sounds strange, but it just seemed the natural thing to do to show complete submission.)

Me: "No, Master! You haven't done wrong in the least in your teachings. However, I feel that I could expand who I am more if I study for a short while one-on-one under another mentor." (That sounds a bit pompous here, but I planned it out so that I would have a vague idea of what to say.)

(He's glaring here, and sneering slightly.) Master: "Tell me, Karata. How am I to know that you just aren't asking me to switch, however temporarily, so that you can know what it's like to take a lover?"

(I'm ashamed to say that I lost my temper at this point. I am a Jedi Padawan, and I do feel as though I've gotten better at releasing my anger into the Force. However, this was simply too much. I mean, we've been a team for six years! We should be able to trust each other.)

(I look up into his eyes.) Me: "If you think that I'd do that, then you have failed in teaching me. What's a bond without trust?"

(He looks calmer; almost curious. Then he smiles.) Master: "Yes, I have taught you well indeed. Tell me, have you a Master in mind?"

After that, we just discussed who I wanted to study under, and why.

I can't get the first part of the conversation out of my mind.

**9/10: Afternoon**

Master Ratari agreed! I'm moving my items into his quarters today.

Almost directly after I started this journal, I was picked to be Master Athros's Padawan. Therefore, I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable writing this as the charge of a different Jedi. I dislike taking a year off from writing, but it only feels right this way.

**6/12: Nighttime**

I'm breaking my rule by doing this, but I couldn't help it!

Yoda is back! I'm _so_ excited, even though I should have better control over my feelings.

We spent today in the Meditation Gardens, filling in each other on our lives from the point where he left on. He couldn't tell me too much because of the high secret factor that goes into his training, but I had more than enough to make up for it.

The only new thing that he told me was that Master Rhihego isn't as strong as he once was. We're both really worried. He is the only one who can train the next Grand Master of the Order. If anything happens to him…

This time I swear by the Force that I'll wait until 9/10, at least to write next!

**A/n: Only a few more chapters to go… My thanks to **Jedi Ani Unduli **and** Smenzer **for reviewing! **


	8. Entries Fifty Through Sixty

**9/10: Late at night**

I suppose that this was a good exercise in self control. I cannot recall the number of times that I had the urge to write, and yet I was able to overcome it all but once!

The past year was- well, there are virtually no words to describe it! A learning experience, that's the best that I can think of right now.

I feel as though I've really moved from childhood to being a woman; more so, a woman who really _could_ become a Jedi. It's a feeling of contentment, but also an odd numbness: For the first time, I know what it's like to really be disconnected from your emotions.

I'm not fully sure what brought on this change. I guess that it was a number of things: Learning Shien was much simpler than fighting with Ataru because it was what the Force had told me to do in the first place. Due to this, I was a lot more confident in my actions, whether it was when sparring or when on one of the few missions that I went on with Master Ratari.

(Yes, we went on a few assignments. Two of them were negotiations, and one was a hostage situation, so I could practice using Shien in the real world.)

I also meditated more: I _had_ to, for at least an hour each day. This surprised me, as Master Athros isn't strict about it, but I suppose that it makes sense. A successful negotiator would have to turn often to the Force for advice, and regular meditation is said to help you to be able to reach out at a much faster pace. That makes sense to me. I hope that I can still set aside at least one hour a day now that I'm back working with Master Athros. In order to do so, I had to neglect my dagger fighting before, and I'm not sure how to balance the two so that I don't have to fall behind on either.

I guess that I'll leave that up to the Force. The consequences of choosing one over the other will hopefully be revealed tomorrow, or perhaps even later tonight, as I meditate.

**9/13: Twilight**

In order to balance both, I won't be able to write as much. I suppose that I'm willing to do that: Even though itused to bea sort of calming meditation to me, I've been able to release my feelings a lot quicker than I used to be, and now I'm writing more out of habit and for future Jedi.

I know that I'll still write occasionally, but I just can't balance everything right now.

**12/ 15: Nighttime**

It's been a few months since I last wrote, and not much has happened. Actually the only thing out-of-the-norm that has occurred is what I'm writing about: Two girl babies (A Human and a Twi'lek) have been brought to the crèche! I'm no longer the only female regularly in the Temple!

I'm so glad that this has happened. It is, without question, a symbol of ending sexism within the Order.

This also has special meaning to me: It tells that I have been successful so far in my training! I do fear that that sounds arrogant, but I am the "Desert Angel"; the one who had to succeed to open up pathways to other woman. Why would other younglings be brought in if I proved my gender to be untrainable?

**6/14: My twentieth birthday**

Wow… twenty already! How time flies. It's strange to think that just three data-chips earlier, I was a young and excitable Padawan. And now… who am I now, exactly? I can't really answer that question. I am a senior -Master has hinted before that I could be knighted within a year- Jedi Padawan. I am the first female to achieve that role. I am from the planet Jättää.

I am Karata Tempestos, but who is she?

**7/3: Twilight**

I had a bit of spare time today, so I figured I'd jot down a few things.

My lightsaber form is strange: It isn't full Shien or Ataru. Because I'm so comfortable with both, they've kind of merged into one. Others must notice this, but they don't comment. It works for me, and that matters the most.

I still dagger fight with Master. I've even beaten him before.

Master has been… moody lately. When we talk, he seems a lot sharper; I know that I mentioned that before, but I know I'm not imagining it this time.

Several more of my age-mates have been knighted! I do hope to be next.

Am I ready for that right now? In all honesty, I am a bit nervous. Twenty seems so young!

However, I'm one of the lucky ones: Having studied under two different teachers, I have experienced more than most.

I think.

**10/24: Gloaming**

Yoda was here for a few days. We talked mostly, although we had a few duels. He beat me easily- I suppose that's only to be expected when you duel with someone when their midi-chlorian count is almost double yours!

Master Rhihego really hasn't been doing well. I glimpsed him once yesterday- he looked… old. I mean, yeah, he _is _nine-hundred years. But before, he always conveyed a strong sense of control and power. Now he… doesn't.

**3/14: Morning**

Master and I are going on a mission, and he's hinted that this may be my last one! We're providing the security for a HUGE Senatorial party. I'm not exactly sure who's throwing it, but I know that it covers two floors of 500 Republica, and that over half of the members of the Senate are going to be there.

My mother included.

I'm taking you with me on this mission- a first, for me. I'm not exactly sure why, but it just feels like that's the right thing to do. After all, if this _is_ my last, then it's sure to be a landmark mission!

**3/15: Early**

Wow… As a Jedi, I've no need for objects, save for the bare essentials (Food, clothes ect.), and my lightsaber. Nevertheless, I cannot help but be impressed with the quarters that Master and I are staying in.  
It's a five-room suite: Two bedrooms, two freshers and a large opening room. The floors appear to be made out of an expensive type of marble, and the sheets on the sleep-couches are all made of silk.

That's just for the basic quarters provided free by the Republic!

Although it appears close from a glance, 500 Republica is actually almost two {standard} miles from the Temple. Because the party will be carried out over two nights (One being a dinner, the other a "less formal" night), it was though wisest to provide us with easy access to get to the building. During the daytime, we'll be providing extra security over at the actually Senate Building. They are to have several meetings with additional important political figures **-**kings and such**-** there, and this is just an extra measure to be taken. Our duties begin later –_much_ later; it's only about the third hour here**-** today.

I here sounds in the adjoining quarters; Master must be awake. Perhaps we are to start early; I suppose that I should go check.

**3/15: It doesn't really matter, but the sun is rising**

Oh Force, oh gods, anything; anyone- I can't believe it- Should I have known; were there clues that I could have deduced this final result from?

Master is a Sith Lord.

Those are just words, and they seem so simple. Each has its own meaning; separately, they are virtually nothing. Together, they can be the death of entire planets.

He's going to come after me; he knows that I'm aware of his secret. I don't know what to do: I'm too far away from the Temple to get there on foot, and I have no means of contact.

I can feel him nearby. There's no way I can hide from him; I'm not going to burst into the home of some innocent civilian demanding shelter. That would just prolong the inevitable, and take down several more people with me.

What happened was this:

I had heard him stirring in the next room, like I said before. Assuming that our duties were to start early, I got up and made to approach his quarters. Now that I look back, the Force was screaming a warning to me, but I didn't listen.

Master was kneeled in the center of the room in front of a large hologram. It displayed a cloak figure: A human male I believe, although I can't be sure. They were speaking in hushed tones, in a language that I was only barely able to translate. A rough transcript follows:

Master: "…She is dedicated to the Light, but I have trained her well. With a few more deaths, she will be bent. After that, I cannot guarantee her loyalty, but I feel it to be more likely."

(The figure nods.) Hologram: "Tell me, Vieras, do you think her to be strong enough to bear the Dark Side?"

(Athros sighs slightly.) Master: "I have my doubts. She is more negotiator than fighter; she chose her own form of lightsaber combat over what I tried to teach. Still, she is talented with her dagger, and I feel that I could bring out her temper, with a little coaxing."

(Suddenly the figure turns to where I was standing in the shadows.) Hologram: "And what of her stealth, Lord Vieras?"

(He turns and sees me. His eyes are a sickly yellow, and slightly bloodshot.)

I ran at that point.

The crystal around my neck is burning my skin.

Burning…

The reason that Ilum crystals create the blade in a lightsabers is that they have a certain content of fire in them. Not real fire, but something that makes them burn with a concentrated high energy when under enough pressure.

In rare cases, the crystals have been used as flares, creating a large, impossible to ignore explosion.

Lives could be sacrificed, if I chose to do this. I could be a war criminal in a peaceful time.

More lives could be if I _don't_ do this.

I'm holding the crystal in my hand now, pouring my Force-energy into it. If I can activate its naturally flammable nature, then throw it into a less inhabited level of Coruscant, the Jedi would most likely be alerted of the explosion. If I leave you here with my lightsaber, then I'm assuming they'll know I was at the heart of this. After, they will be able to trace my Force-presence –allowing them to do so requires me to lower my mental shields to a dangerous level, but I figure that that's worth the risk- and learn the truth about Master Athros. I hope.

I'm going to stop writing and start doing now…

**The following is not part of **Diary-Tempestos, Karata **but contained relevant content**

-**Transcript taken from the security cameras of Building ID#480274285, AKA Skynyrd, basement level**-

(A Human Female sits in a chair, strapped by the wrists and legs.)

Girl, later identified as Tempestos, Karata: "I will not join you."

(A cloaked man is seen pacing the room.)

Man, later identified as Balatro Athros: Laughing; "Who said anything about joining me?"

Tempestos: "Do not be a fool. I have heard your plans. You wish to tempt me into your dark depths. Do what you may; I am not going to join you."

(Athros strolls closer to her.)

Athros: "Off-topic as this may be, but that explosion was an interesting effect. Although, truthfully, I should have known that it was a mistake to feign unawareness after you took it from Ilum."

Tempestos: "And perhaps off-topic this is too, but why did I not use it in my lightsaber in the first place?"

Athros: "And make learning to fight with easy for you? That would have made you all soft. Although I must admit, your skill with the dagger _did_ take me by surprise. Usually, it takes one who knows what it's like to feel the fire and ice of anger in their blood to be that good."

Tempestos: "You flatter me. So, tell me, who was the person you were speaking to?"

Athros, laughing: "Oh, you mean Master? I hardly think that that's important."

Tempestos, smirking slightly: "So while you masqueraded as my Mater, you were really only an apprentice? Forgive my laughter, but there seems to be a touch of irony there."

(Athros strolls forward and slaps Tempestos on the cheek)

Athros: "Mind your place! You have no right to be laughing in such a place as you are in now."

Tempestos: "I beg to diff-"

(Before Tempestos can finish speaking, three Jedi later identified as Masters Takana Ratari, Rhihego, and, at the time, Jedi Padawan Yoda.)

(Athros ignites his lightsaber. He engages in a duel with Master Rhihego. Padawan Yoda goes to unstrap Tempestos.)

Yoda: "An interesting idea, the explosion was."

Tempestos, standing up and rubbing her wrists: "I didn't want to do it, but that seemed the only option. Were there any casualties?"

Yoda: "No deaths, there were. Injured, several street-people were."

Tempestos, bowing her head: "I'm sorry."

(Yoda hands Tempestos several objects, identified later as a lightsaber and data-pad.)

Yoda: "These, are yours, I believe."

**Unknown time**

Yoda just gave me you, and I'm writing as I watch Athros duel Master Ratari and Master Rhihego. I guess my plan worked: Although_ he_ caught up with me just a minute after I threw the crystal and dragged me here, I wasn't really hurt. I suppose he was cocky enough to think that he could turn me, and didn't want to 'damage the goods'.

I hate to admit it, but I'm kind of afraid. I _know_ that Athros is good; in my roughly eight years as his Padawan, I never beat him. I'm aware of Master Ratari's skill, but I _was_ able to defeat him several times, and with only a year of training! And Master Rhihego… well, he was once the best but after nine hundred years, his skill has waned.

This probably isn't the best time to write…

**3/25: Nighttime**

It has been too long since I last wrote. I have been busy: The healer's ward first, then the Council, and fielding questions from the other Jedi all the while.

I dislike the outcome of the fight. I accept it to be the Will of the Force, but it hurts nevertheless.

Master Rhihego died from wounds inflicted onto him by Athros. Athros himself was killed by Master Ratari.

The last words of Master Rhihego were directed towards Yoda and me. We were the last Padawans that he knighted.

I feel like this is my fault. Destiny may rule, but I was a servant in its plan.

Yoda… I feel so bad for him. He has to lead the entire Order, and with no one to guide him.

I'm not going to be writing for a long time. New knights usually don't return to the Temple, except to get new missions, for at least two standard years.

And so I end on this note…

**No further entries found**


	9. Epilouge

**A/n: And so we come to the epilogue… Thanks to **Jedi Ani Unduli; Smenzer; Lady Aiedail; **and** General Meow Mix **for reviewing! **

_Present day_

It was strange to think how much could change in two weeks.

Two weeks before, she had known nothing. She had stood confidently, unaware of the trials taken to get her into the Order. But now… she didn't know about now.

Perhaps that was why Siri Tachi found herself in the same place that she had those fourteen days ago.

Oh, she was perfectly aware that Master Yoda had many other duties; that she was just a foolish Padawan with dreams of being great and being recognized and acknowledged by the Council Member.

Still, she had… a feeling. And she trusted that feeling.

She wasn't surprised when Master Yoda showed up, hobbling along as always.

"Master Yoda." She bowed her head, knowing to pay homage to his rank, even though she was bursting with questions.

He nodded back to her. "Questions, you have."

"Yes, Master." She suddenly realized that she was unaware where to start.

"Everything in it… was it all true?"

The wizened creature nodded. "A true Jedi, and a true friend, was Karata Tempestos. Talented, was she, with her dagger."

"What happened to her?"

He studied her curiously. "Think something happened to her, you do?"

She couldn't explain the feeling. "The life of a Jedi is a dangerous one. All respect Master, but I cannot imagine how that would change, even over the course over several centuries."

He sighed. "Right, you are. Sacrificed herself, she did, to save the lives of Master Ratari, and several other young knights. With her, newly-knighted Osake was. Offer his life instead, he did, but insistent, she was. Only twenty-two was she at the time."

Yoda shook his head sadly. "A good knight, and better Master, she would have been. Too eager to prove herself, was she."

Siri swallowed, in an attempt to push away the sudden tightness in her throat. She knew that having such emotions was unbefitting of a Jedi-in-training, but it still felt… strange.

"Master Yoda… what happened afterwards? An… an epilogue, if you will."

He looked at her, as if judging if she was truly curious, or just asking for his sake. Apparently satisfied with what he saw, he said "A member of the Council, Master Ratari would become. After his death, replace him, Osake would. The two children that were brought into the Temple would be chosen by Masters, one of them being Ratari. Thirty years after Karata's death, a Human female would rise to the Council."

Yoda gave a slight smile, rare for him. "Survive, I would."

Siri nodded silently.

**A/n, v.2: Simply because this is the epilogue, could I have a review? Please? ****:-)  
(Published 2/24: Finished 2/21; as most of you know, Fanfic was blocking us from publishing and reviewing everything.)**


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